10k, here I come...I think.

So tomorrow is the big day....my 1st 10k race. 

I am a bag full of mixed emotions about the whole thing today.

This past Tuesday, I had a rough run/walk on the dreadmill (3.5 miles) which involved 5...count 'em...FIVE stops to run to the bathroom.  Lesson learned:  An hour after lunch is NOT a great time to run.

My oldest daughter did a 5 mile bike ride with me on Wednesday for cross-training and that went really well.

Thursday, I had a really cruddy run.  It had been cooler outside so I foolishly thought that I would be okay to run at 6pm when Cory got home from work.  Wrong.  My asthma bothered me terribly and my legs/ankles were super sore.  I ended up giving up at 3.3 miles...couldn't even make it to finish the 3.5 I had planned.  That was a bummer.

Yesterday was a rest day and I ended up getting hit with a stomach bug last night.  I still feel icky this morning and I am really worried about tomorrow.  On a positive note, I weighed 5lbs less this morning than I did yesterday morning.  Nothing like a stomach bog to jump start the weight loss, right?

To be honest though, I'm struggling mentally lately.  My mileage is supposed to increase next week on the training plan and I am worried about making the time to get my runs in before Cory leaves for work during the week.  My runs lately have been rough and the voice of self-doubt is there in the back of my mind so often.  I hate feeling like this.  I sometimes wonder why I keep going.  I mean really, I'm not losing weight and I'm so slow...yet I keep plugging away and running.  Its like some strange virus in my brain that makes me keep going....its the crazy.  My confidence for the half marathon is waning, and I wish I could find something to bring it back.

Tomorrow, I am going to do my first 10k.  I am praying that I'll feel healthy enough to jog the whole thing, but I guess if I have to walk, that is better than not doing it.  I know I'll be slow, but seeing this the other day was a nice reminder that my miles are still miles, even if they are slow ones.

I'm nervous about tomorrow.  I don't know how I'll be feeling health wise, and I'm not sure how confident I'll be feeling, but I'm going to do it.  I'm not giving up...even if that evil little voice in the back of my mind desperately wants me to sometimes.  I need to work to get that confidence back, and hopefully tomorrow's 10k will be a step in that direction.